By Brandon Grittini

It starts with just a hunch that something is just not quite right. You have no proof at all but somehow you just get this weird feeling your spouse has been dipping their toes into the cheating pool. Are you just paranoid that someone else has gotten their hands on your cookie jar or is your sixth sense sounding off for a valid reason?

Since the beginning of time people have pondered why people cheat with not much success. In Shakespearian times it was thought that only wives were the guilty party and that when they cheated a husband would have invisible horns that everyone could see but him. It was so prevalent they actually referred to this phenomenon as being “cockeled”.

In the last century, science changed the theory that men cheat more than women because of a physiological instinct to spread their seed to as many partners as possible in a “survival of the fittest” position to pass on their genes.

The “why they cheat” debate is endless. You just want to know for sure if your spouse is cheating or not and then you”ll figure it out from there. So how do you know for sure? Here are some ways you can find valid proof for your suspicions and catch that cheating spouse.

Has the love of your life suddenly seem to be in a happier mood? Are they humming joyfully to themselves lost in thought and when you ask why they”re so happy they respond “way over the top”? You might just have caught them thinking about their secret lover and taken them off guard.

They laugh nervously, stumble with some weak excuse, and then overcompensate with gushing warmth and affection towards to. That’’s flag number one. Then you start to notice that they”ve lost a little weight, seem more interested in their appearance, gotten some new duds and maybe he just smells different. To know for sure, check the underwear drawer.

A new lover means new underwear. Nobody wants to get in the sack with their everyday worn out panties. Women are especially guilty of this. A visit to Victoria’’s Secret for new sexy gear that she never seems to wear around you is flag number two. If she’’s going out on a Friday night to spend with her “girlfriends” and shaves her legs that morning you should be worried.

Nobody shaves their legs for girl’’s night out. They have no reason to. If she goes out with sasquatch legs you”re safe. The underwear drawer hides many secrets and you”re sure to stumble upon one or more of them.

What other ways are there to catch a cheating spouse? If there’’s suddenly been a dramatic increase in sex he may be covering up his guilt. Has he started just calling you by a generic term like, “honey” or “baby” in the throws of passion instead of calling your name? It’’s because he doesn”t want to accidentally call out his other woman’’s name by mistake.

If he suddenly loses interest in sex and he’’s not on major heart medication then he’’s got to be getting it somewhere else. No man can go for longer than a week without getting some action or doing it himself in the shower. You need some hard-core evidence though. Even the best cheater eventually slips up and leaves evidence.

First stop: the garbage. That’’s right, get into the trash and find those flower receipts, love notes, used condoms. You”d be surprised! Go through all the trash in the house even the bathroom wastebasket. Hidden below the tampon wrappers and drain hair is where you”ll hit gold wrapped tightly in toilet paper. If someone is going to throw something out in secret more than likely it will be in the privacy of the bathroom where they think no-one would dare to look.

What’’s next? Check their e-mail, their cell phone bill and their address book on both. Somewhere there will be a name or number you don”t recognize that might be listed as just one initial. On their bank statements for debit and credit cards there are unusual purchases that can”t be explained.

She spent $50 at a gaming store and doesn”t like video games? He spent $100 at the jewelry store and you haven”t been given a set of diamond studs? Invariably when one has a new lover they want to buy them gifts. So find those receipts or bank statements and you have valid evidence.

If you can get a friend to tail him in an unrecognizable car you can go that route or just spend some coin for a professional to do it. Another way to see if he/she is a cheater is to get a friend of a friend they don”t know to approach them in some public venue and proposition them. If your spouse takes the bait, tap your lawyer on speed dial.

Overall, if you catch a cheating spouse you have options how to deal with it. There’’s obviously something missing in your relationship that he/she feels they need to find somewhere else. You can explore all of this in couples counseling and practice forgiveness or you can go the route of divorce hell. If children are involved it’’s a tough decision. No relationship is 100% perfect but cheating is definitely not justifiable for any reason so it’’s really up to the spurned spouse to do some soul searching for a solution. Good luck.

About The Author

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